What the hell am I doing...?

So it has come to my attention recently that i might be a little bit of a flirt...and when I say a little bit, a friend described it as my type of personality...so you can interpret what that means. But what I did not realized until recently was that flirting may lead to a date...which in years past it has not, so shock and awe was experienced when my starbucks barista asked me out on a date....yikes. But in all actuality I was excited and interested in this kid. Turns out that I am not really interested in him past friendship but it was good experience. It is always nice to be liked and pursued, but I know that I might not be a dating person. Ultimately, I just want to marry my best friend. I don't know who that is, but I know that dating is hard and awkward. SOOOO, the big lesson is, try not to flirt, but when you are good at something you want to do it all the time. We will see in time what happens. C'est la vie...

peace,
apk

Obsession...not just a Calvin Klein fragrance

Some might say that obsession is a negative thing...I say phooeey...I love my recent obsessions(obviously). What are they you might ask....well what the fans want, the fans get:

1. Tall, One pump white mocha, two pump toffee nut, non fat, no whip latte
2. Dance Flicks(in particular, STEP UP 2: The Streets...nothing is hotter than some city white kids throwin in a little Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliot and dropping it likes its hot)
3. Raquet Sports...pickleball rocks my world...holler
4. Happy Hour...need I say more.
5. Books that are in a series...why let the good times stop.
6. Costa Rica
7. Conversations that speak truth
8. Lobster Mac and Cheese
9. Laughter

Those are the things that I have recently been enjoying and craving for my life.

till next time,
apk

The sillyness of life...

SO the last couple weeks have been peppered with moments that have made me laugh out loud...First, I was walking around Wash Park and this lady was either singing or talking very melodically to her dog, thank God another person heard and we laughed together. Another incident at Wash Park was when a man in tight black spandex leggings was singing as he rollerbladed, totally classic. Next, I was just minding my own business on University, gettin myself a Jamba and I glance to my left only to happen upon 12 inches of crack, not the kind you snort with your nose, but rather of the gluteus maximus kind. The cab driver had no shame in his game that day, he put it out there for all to see. Others moments include listening to three very straight men talk about their excitement over the local gay bar(they happened to be slightly drunk), my roommate fell off the ottoman because she was laughing so hard, and I keep laughing at people's facebook top 25 lists.

I am glad that my life isn't devoid of sillyness or moments that represent joy. I love laughing and I hope that the next couple weeks can be just as silly, I crave gut busting laughter, so bring it.

Adventure Quotient...

This adventure that I have been planning to Costa Rica, is getting out of hand...in the best ways possible. I just found a farm in which I can volunteer at and get to see all these other great things, it will only cost me $10.oo a night to stay there if I choose to stay there more than a week... ok, done! I was searching through some options for surfing and let me tell you that I might be reaching my max level of excitement right now. If you know anything about me, this trip is a big deal and every moment that it draws nears the more excited I get, as well as, nervous. I am starting to plan so that puts my worries to ease but there are moments when I get a little freaked out that I don't have anything planned. I just keep thinking how great this is going to be for me. I am going to get after it this summer...holler, woop woop!

:),
ash

FULLY?

Tonight I sit saddened and perplexed at the condition of our hearts. The Bible tells us that Jesus died so that we can be in a right relationship with our Creator, but what is that relationship supposed to look like? After a conversation with a close friend, I am suddenly struck that relationship with my Creator must include relationships with others. When we aren't being pursued by others, the pursuit of the Lords seems distant, why? The Bible says we can't survive on bread alone...hence the need for others in our life. My friend has been processing what it means to be fully known and fully loved. Someone might argue that those are inherently tied together, my friend believes that it is much easier to be fully loved than fully known. I agree, we also talked about how if we all knew each other fully, it might be a lot harder to love each other fully. Why would God make that hard to do, why should we ever feel a void when we know that we are fully loved and fully known by God? Because we are human and were created for relationships, and without them I don't necessarily think that we truly know God or love God fully. "What you do to the least of these, you do to me"(paraphrased verse from the Bible), if my pursuit of others isn't to fully know them and to fully love them, what does that say about my relationship with Jesus....to me it is says "Your shady". Shady in the regard that you aren't following what Jesus asks of you.
SIDENOTE: For those of you who don't share my faith please know that this is my attempt to figure out how it is really supposed to be, not how the church has created it to be, and to forwarn you, I will fail(daily) so don't see it as hypocritical but rather a damn good effort.
I guess what I am really saying is that it makes me sad that people walk around our great green earth and feel as though that they aren't fully known or fully loved by God, and the root of all of that is, that people have not pursued each other to know or love them fully. Now is the application, what relationships do I hold back getting to know someone, and what relationships do I not let others in? How do I change that? Ultimately I hope it leads to a better knowledge of how wide and deep my Creator knows me and loves me. I fear that it will take time, but I do feel that it hugely important.

New Year = New Adventures

SOOOOOO, I am real nervous right now because I just bought my first internatioanl flight. I am going to Costa flipping Rica this summer, by myself. "What the hell were you thinking?"...you may be asking yourself this question...well to be honest I am not entirely sure that I was, but I am confident that I am going to have an adventure. To explain how I got to point of booking a flight at 11:24 pm on a wednesday night might help those of you who know me in understanding why I made such a brash decision. Well, it goes little something like this....at Lola happy hour on Monday a friend asked if I was going this summer, to which I replied "NO" and then began listing off a bunch of reasons why...I made them sound legit, though I knew that it was fear that held me back from doing what I really wanted to do. After expressing some of those fears I realized that, though they are in fact real fears, they didn't represent the reasons for going...LIBERATION, FREEDOM, GROWTH.

I am going and I couldn't be more excited/nervous about the whole endeavor. This trip represents a chapter in my life that reveals my character flaws and strengths, and hope for adventure. YAY!! I will keep an update on how I feel about the whole thing but for now, I feel like a dangerous woman...watch out world I am coming to get ya.

Cecil "THE DESIEL" Sapp

This was the night of multiple "celebrity" sitings...John Madden(kind of a jerk), that asian kid from the "Heroes", John Lynch, and my favie------------> former CSU alum, Cecil Sapp. He is a real great guy...this was last season when the Broncs had a fighting chance and Shanahan still ruled the field.