Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Glass...half full or half empty

Welcome back...I say this more to myself rather than to y'all out in thee blog-o-sphere. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind, and I find myself with plenty of time to reflect and yes, to blog. In the past weeks I have done so much and it is hard to say everything, but suffice it to say have had a ton of fun and learned a lot. These past few days I have been pondering whether or not I view my world as "half full" or "half empty". I think I portray a person who thinks life is half full, but in reality I think that I waver from that mentality.

This past weekend I was in my cousins wedding(which was a cup over floweth situation) and a person told me that I appeared to be filled up. When I heard that my first response was one of gratitude, the next response was of doubt. The doubt comes from some of the deepest parts of my heart, but I am thankful that the fullness that is my life shined through. When I think about my life, to be honest, I think that I am hugely blessed in most any situation. My family, friends and faith continue to show me that life is so intentional and full of wonder and so much more than I will ever know, but....moments of doubt steal some of the fullness. I wonder if despite the fact that I may or may not feel full, if God, my creator decides regardless of how I feel, that he will reveal Himself through the fullness of my life. Despite the disconnect, does God somehow know that we need Him to be bigger than us. When a person tells me that I am full, glowing, or any other word to describe an inner hapiness I am reminded that I am. So, I am thankful to the person who was able to see in me what I at times lack. I am also reminded that we are part of something so much bigger than I can wrap my head around and that roles that we play in each others lives are significant....even if it moments or a lifetime. So to those whom play role in my life daily...thank you, and those who play a role for a day...thank you. My journey as a young woman unfolds with simplicity and significance and my hope is that I can continue to journey with intention and grace.

As I look back what I wrote to correct any errors, I realize that this blog will have moments of extreme silliness and moments of truth and honesty...hope that doesn't bother you.

Thanks for reading,