Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Climate is....

No, I am not talking about the weather or global warming, I am talking about the political climate. Today I was walking around the Wash Park neighborhood with the baby that I nanny and couldn't help but notice how many people are promoting their particular party or opinion on their lawn. I got to thinking about a few things, first...how great is it that we can live next to that crazy(fill in the blank with any one of the political parties) and still get along, second...how is it that we can so easily promote our brand of politics but get furious when others do not agree with our particular viewpoint, and lastly...I can't wait till the elections are over. I was talking to my grandfather on this walk and he asked if I was going to vote, to which I replied "Of course". He said that is was important for us to vote for who think would save the world.....I told him that I didn't think that anyone was able to do that. WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE DONE TO OUR WORLD, that the most important topics are taxes, abortion, same sex marriages, oil prices, a war(that I forget why we are even at war) and whatever the media deems important. We only care that there is "an economic crisis" because it now affects us, where were our concerns as many american children went to bed without food, where were we when the elderly died because they can't afford health insurance, where were we when the many poor cried for a loving hand? I ask these questions because I am disappointed in myself for not caring for others better, I am disappointed that it takes so much to get me motivated. Will this "economic crisis" level the playing field, or will it just increase our selfishness? I don't really have the answers, but I want to ask them of myself before I go out and start getting pissed.

Peace, love and politics(which seems to be devoid of the former words),

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Tonight was the first night spent in community with sweet women that I am super excited about gettting to know. Girls Group(officially the unofficial name) is something that roommate, roommate's sister and I have been talking about for a while and tonight it came to fruition. The point is to get women of all ages to come together and fellowship with one another. This gets me excited beacuse I haven't really made too many close connections with ladies in the Metro Denver area. I hope that with this time with the ladies that I learn and appreciate the community of people that God has put in my life. Tonight we talked about what we wanted our time to look like and I am happy to say that goodies bags for homeless will be something we do, however, we decided that throwing them out our cars to unsuspecting homeless would not be good. Next time we meet we will be dining on our most favorite comfort foods and enjoying champagne, to toast to the good things in life. My toast for the evening is that I got to enjoy Jesus loving, laughter making, dance party chicks. Here's to girls group...watch out pepsi center her we come...startin' a revolution.

woop, woop

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Heating things up this past March...

I was just looking around at my pictures and adjusting various things on them when I realized that this bunch of girls is so adorable. It makes me excited to think of the next time that we all might up again and have ridiculous conversation and much laughter.
MUAH, love you girls. Ash
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm an idiot...

SOOOOO, today I went to the school bookstore to purchase the book for my multicultural education class because we have a mid-term due TOMORROW. I get home and I get ready to sit down and dive into my work, only to find out that I bought the wrong book. ARGH!!! And i pretty sure that I won't be able to exchange it. I feel like a complete and total idiot. Well, like I always do, I will rally tomorrow and hopefully get it done. I would hate to think of the result if i can't get the book. I am a little pissed so I am going to drink my glass of wine and enjoy the rest my evening as best I can.
Another day in the life of Ridiculous Ashley. OH to be me!!!

talk to yo later,

p.s. This is what I get for procrastinating

Sunday, October 19, 2008

To answer or not to answer

HEY, Hey, hey, hey, heeeey!

Fall is in full swing, and I couldn't find myself enjoying it more. There is something about the changing of the seasons that illicits a response from most people. I have noticed that most people enjoy the beginnings of the new season, it is the end of the season that people enjoy the least(at least that is how I operate). With this new season I feel that it can also mark a new season in my life. My hope is that I fall more in love with my Creator, and in that I hope to learn how to better love others and be in their lives in a significant ways.
I asked for that because I have a new friend in my life that exemplifies suffering. In our friendship I ask for answers that don't exist and allow for frustration to creep in and take hold. Today, at church, I realized that suffering is not a question seeking an answer but rather a thing that asks us to embrace it and trust that God "knows". But there are still so many reasons to bail, therein lies the battle. I feel a tug on my heart to step into my friends suffering with him, if he is willing to go there himself. If he isn't ready to step into it, I want to be able to be a person who is willing to love him at any cost(the good, the bad, the ugly). I fear that I won't be able to handle it and that I will become another person in his life that can't deal and bails on him. I have never known what it is like to loose it all and to have nothing to lean on. To my friend, God has been elusive and the source of some of the pain. So, the question to me is how does one step into the hurt with God and still be angry with Him? I am not sure that anger towards God leads to healing, and I am not sure that loving Him does either. I am not talking about spiritual healing, but a real life miracle where the shit stops being shitty and a person can move forward without pain. My heart is heavy with the questions without answers today. There is this desire for me to fix things and when I can't I feel helpless and inadequate. But I guess I am not suppose to help or be adequate but rather LOVE and let go. I sense failure for the day but I am rather excited that being a beloved of my creator isn't dependent on the success of my abilities but love that is squeezed from the failures.
My prayer for today is that He be more and I become less...at any cost(that is hard to want).

To fail big is to be loved even bigger...hopefully overflowing into this world that craves an honest answer...but is learning to be okay with honest love.