i only have 8 minutes...

Hye there party people...this day marks the day when I start the hard but short haul to the end of the semester. I realized that my procrastination is posing to be much more of problem than I anticipated. In the next week I have seven things due....BOOOOOOOOO. After I have dinner tonight with some friends, I will go home to plan out every minute of the next four weeks. If you think I am joking I assure you that almost every minute will have some "thing" planned, Seeing as I have entirely too much to do and too little time(my own fault) to do it in, this is what I must do to survive.In fact, I only have four minutes to continue to write this blog. For those of you who know me well, know that I operate well under structure, but I am rarely the one to implement on myself. Damn the odds. So you may or may not hear from me, unless I have planned a call while driving in "Cori" the Corsica. With two minutes remaining I will say good-bye and bid you ado and hope to see you soon.

Your pal,
Ash

The Climate is....

No, I am not talking about the weather or global warming, I am talking about the political climate. Today I was walking around the Wash Park neighborhood with the baby that I nanny and couldn't help but notice how many people are promoting their particular party or opinion on their lawn. I got to thinking about a few things, first...how great is it that we can live next to that crazy(fill in the blank with any one of the political parties) and still get along, second...how is it that we can so easily promote our brand of politics but get furious when others do not agree with our particular viewpoint, and lastly...I can't wait till the elections are over. I was talking to my grandfather on this walk and he asked if I was going to vote, to which I replied "Of course". He said that is was important for us to vote for who think would save the world.....I told him that I didn't think that anyone was able to do that. WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE DONE TO OUR WORLD, that the most important topics are taxes, abortion, same sex marriages, oil prices, a war(that I forget why we are even at war) and whatever the media deems important. We only care that there is "an economic crisis" because it now affects us, where were our concerns as many american children went to bed without food, where were we when the elderly died because they can't afford health insurance, where were we when the many poor cried for a loving hand? I ask these questions because I am disappointed in myself for not caring for others better, I am disappointed that it takes so much to get me motivated. Will this "economic crisis" level the playing field, or will it just increase our selfishness? I don't really have the answers, but I want to ask them of myself before I go out and start getting pissed.

Peace, love and politics(which seems to be devoid of the former words),
Ash

GIRLS ONLY....

Tonight was the first night spent in community with sweet women that I am super excited about gettting to know. Girls Group(officially the unofficial name) is something that roommate, roommate's sister and I have been talking about for a while and tonight it came to fruition. The point is to get women of all ages to come together and fellowship with one another. This gets me excited beacuse I haven't really made too many close connections with ladies in the Metro Denver area. I hope that with this time with the ladies that I learn and appreciate the community of people that God has put in my life. Tonight we talked about what we wanted our time to look like and I am happy to say that goodies bags for homeless will be something we do, however, we decided that throwing them out our cars to unsuspecting homeless would not be good. Next time we meet we will be dining on our most favorite comfort foods and enjoying champagne, to toast to the good things in life. My toast for the evening is that I got to enjoy Jesus loving, laughter making, dance party chicks. Here's to girls group...watch out pepsi center her we come...startin' a revolution.

woop, woop
A-TRAIN

Heating things up this past March...

I was just looking around at my pictures and adjusting various things on them when I realized that this bunch of girls is so adorable. It makes me excited to think of the next time that we all might up again and have ridiculous conversation and much laughter.
MUAH, love you girls. Ash

I'm an idiot...

SOOOOO, today I went to the school bookstore to purchase the book for my multicultural education class because we have a mid-term due TOMORROW. I get home and I get ready to sit down and dive into my work, only to find out that I bought the wrong book. ARGH!!! And i pretty sure that I won't be able to exchange it. I feel like a complete and total idiot. Well, like I always do, I will rally tomorrow and hopefully get it done. I would hate to think of the result if i can't get the book. I am a little pissed so I am going to drink my glass of wine and enjoy the rest my evening as best I can.
Another day in the life of Ridiculous Ashley. OH to be me!!!

talk to yo later,
Ashley

p.s. This is what I get for procrastinating

To answer or not to answer

HEY, Hey, hey, hey, heeeey!

Fall is in full swing, and I couldn't find myself enjoying it more. There is something about the changing of the seasons that illicits a response from most people. I have noticed that most people enjoy the beginnings of the new season, it is the end of the season that people enjoy the least(at least that is how I operate). With this new season I feel that it can also mark a new season in my life. My hope is that I fall more in love with my Creator, and in that I hope to learn how to better love others and be in their lives in a significant ways.
I asked for that because I have a new friend in my life that exemplifies suffering. In our friendship I ask for answers that don't exist and allow for frustration to creep in and take hold. Today, at church, I realized that suffering is not a question seeking an answer but rather a thing that asks us to embrace it and trust that God "knows". But there are still so many reasons to bail, therein lies the battle. I feel a tug on my heart to step into my friends suffering with him, if he is willing to go there himself. If he isn't ready to step into it, I want to be able to be a person who is willing to love him at any cost(the good, the bad, the ugly). I fear that I won't be able to handle it and that I will become another person in his life that can't deal and bails on him. I have never known what it is like to loose it all and to have nothing to lean on. To my friend, God has been elusive and the source of some of the pain. So, the question to me is how does one step into the hurt with God and still be angry with Him? I am not sure that anger towards God leads to healing, and I am not sure that loving Him does either. I am not talking about spiritual healing, but a real life miracle where the shit stops being shitty and a person can move forward without pain. My heart is heavy with the questions without answers today. There is this desire for me to fix things and when I can't I feel helpless and inadequate. But I guess I am not suppose to help or be adequate but rather LOVE and let go. I sense failure for the day but I am rather excited that being a beloved of my creator isn't dependent on the success of my abilities but love that is squeezed from the failures.
My prayer for today is that He be more and I become less...at any cost(that is hard to want).

To fail big is to be loved even bigger...hopefully overflowing into this world that craves an honest answer...but is learning to be okay with honest love.

...my baby's got sauce

HI there music fans...this past weekend I saw G. love and the special sauce perform at the illustrious Red Rocks Ampitheatre. Good show, good times. Today I wish that I had a more disposable income so that I can go to more shows. There is something about music that gets me...I truly have an experience. I can think of moments in my life that have been truly epic and most likely than not they have been accompanied by a song that still moves today. I am a firm believer that there are many things in life that we can connect with...for some it is the outdoors, people, art, culture, etc. These things can be the things that compel us to pursue life to whatever extent that we do. I hope that I continue to let the music move me and that I continue to let it to compel me to pursue. Enough for today...I going to connect with my homework for the next couple hours and then connect with my Denver Broncos.

To you a merry sunday,
Ash

Obama yo Mama

That is right folks....Ashley Paige Kelemen was a part of history this past thursday. The first African American canidate give his acceptance speech. It was EPIC...words weren't thrown out without conviction, praises were given appropriately, goosebumps were raised along with intrigue in this new rogue canidate. Charisma wasn't lacking, but does charisma sustain good politics through the years. I was impressed with Barack, I wish that I wasn't so tainted with the lack of care that politicians have taken with my vote of confidence in them. I am going to vote, unsure of who, but my vote will be heard(God Willing). Overall, I was in awe at how many people responded to this man from Illinois, and I might say that I as right along there with them. History was made and little 'ol me was a participant, cool...very cool.

Get out, get informed, get angry and get active,
Ash

Whirlwinded

Welp, Folks let's be honest, I have been a bad friend, family member, and all around perosn inthe last couple months. More recently, since school has started, I have found myself in the midst of a crisis. Not the kind of crisis that merits drastic measures, but rather striking a balance. I am in need of balance between wanting to be in community with others and not wanting to be with anyone at all. This place is weird for me because I have the tendency to choose to be with people more often then not, and I think the struggle is that being with people right now seems to take effort. I am used to ease of conversation and comfortable silences shared with those whom I cared about; which is to say that friendship recently is hard and requires more of me than I think I can give right now. Soooooo....crisis of epic proportion, no, crisis of balance, yes. I am hoping that this semester will teach me how to say yes to things that are good and when to say no to things that are bad or good.



In more recent news, school is going well, I feel called and passionate about my future. Though there have been a few hiccups, I am excited for what the future holds, nervous as well. My prayer is that I will be diligent in my studies and trust that everything else will fall into place.



I started a new job...NANNY TO THE RESCUE. Yes, I will fall back into a more comfortable role of caring for kids. The youngest is three months(that is actually a little scary) and a two year old, both of which are trememdously cute and surprisingly low maintenance. I look forward for the time that I get to be with them, though tiring, also rewarding.



Welp, this has been a short catch up of how I am doing and I hope that I get to hear from all of you soon.



Blog to you later,

Ash

On the Brink of Breakdown.....

2008 is supposed to be great...but as I jump into the thick of my 25th year, I am not so sure predictions were right. I had made all these proclamations that this year was going to be my year and that everything was going to fall into place. But rather than thriving I feel as though I am only surviving. I guess I could sit here and blame the economy, my family, my friends, my job, too little time or too much to do, whatever the excuse the reality remains. The reality is that I have displacing my feelings and ignoring them, which has led to ignoring so much more in my life. I have neglected my family, friends, God, and ME! I think I have forgotten how to take of myself. I feel so far removed from who I am that I am afraid that I have lost some of who I am. Maybe I haven't lost anything...maybe this is just a season marked by tribulations. TRIBULATIONS SUCK, but they are shaping of my character, at least I hope.

Where I fall short and weak, I know and trust(sometimes) that my creator will step in and fill the void...if I allow him(I guess that is the key). Here's to a tough season, but one that isn't without its great moments.

Blog to later...and hopeful for a light at the end of the tunnel.
Ashley

...livin the dream...and all that it entails!

The day began at 6:10 am, groggy and not so eager to drag myself out of bed, I crept into the kitchen started the coffee. As I began the day the only place I wanted to be was back in my bed, but I sucked it up and began my morning travel to school to take my third anatomy and physiology test. The morning had this gloom and doom feel to it, I felt slightly unprepared and nervous, but I had to git 'er done. As the test finished I really didn't have any feeling about it, other than it was done. As the day progressed it seemed to start to resemble the bright sun that was beating down on it, I was laughing in class and had plans to ride some rollercoasters. As I sit here and process the day and my summer I wonder where the time has gone. From that story I will quickly move into why I feel like I am living the dream.

Welp...here it goes...this summer I have spent my time playing softball friday nights, tuesday and thursday mornings in anatomy and physiology class(argh), afternoons by the pool, happy hour with friends, random weekends celebrating wedding nuptials, dinners with mom, tennis with dad, moving into the most baller apartment(with the most amazing friend), holidays in the mountains with lots o laughter, building friendships with people who make me laugh and think, and filling in the rest of the time with work(which I actually enjoy). As I look back at the great moments and the bad moments, I have to say that the great moments have blown away the bad. I realized that I worry more than I thought...which is very apparent in my body...which is wound so tight that my muscles hurt. I wish that I could trust that everything will work out, but I am lacking that thing that allows me to let "it" go. What "it" is changes most days, and "it" becomes stuff that I ignore and then it builds upon itself and eventually becomes overwhelming. Soooooo, in writing this blog I have realized that I have drifted from the core of who I am that allows me to have the ability to have perspective. Funny how writing things out can allow you to have an "a-ha" moment. I am hoping that my "a-ha" moment leads to a pursuit of the things that allow me to be free of the crap that I let get me down.

Despite the ending of this utterly too long blog....I am living the dream, just slightly interrupted by waking moments drenched in reality...but reality is good...it keeps us aware of our needs.

blog to you later,
Ashley

Sorry for being lame....

Hey there party people...due to the chaos of life I have not been on my A-game recently. I have been giving over to my newest addiction...FELICITY, the t.v. show. To give you some scope and depth of my addiction I will tell you that on Saturday I stayed up until 6:30 am on Sunday watching my beloved characters. I have since limited my viewing...to what I haven't decided, but I cannot let this situation get any worse.

In other news, I had a most fabulous Fourth of July. I went up to Estes Park with some friends and hiked for a good 5 hours(I will divulge the particulars of that event in a moment), then we ate some grub and then watched some fireworks over Lake Estes. All in all, a most hilarious time. For those of you who know me well, you know that I love being outdoors and doing various activities but hiking is at the bottom. I do love being in nature and everything that it has to offer, but you would never know that by the way I act in it. Our hike was entirely too long for me to be doing after not hiking at all since last summer. I got charlie horses in both my calves, multiple times...leading to cramping in other muscles in my legs. To say the least my body hates me right now. And to top is off I almost fell off a rock because my legs cramped up mid climb...Tyler was a great help, he mostly just laughed. I loved the trip alot but I must apologize to my friends, whom had to wait for my slow ass to get up that mountain...Sorry:(

In other news, I have moved and I am super duper excited about it. I live on Corona, but basically speer and downing. We overlook the Denver Country Club golf course and have too much space. My new roommie(who happens to be a blogger too) is great. We have a lot in common and I see our future friendship going very well.

I am currently about to get ready for work,but I am going to try and blog more than once a month. Blog to you later.

Peace, love and sore legs,
Ash

Glass...half full or half empty

Welcome back...I say this more to myself rather than to y'all out in thee blog-o-sphere. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind, and I find myself with plenty of time to reflect and yes, to blog. In the past weeks I have done so much and it is hard to say everything, but suffice it to say have had a ton of fun and learned a lot. These past few days I have been pondering whether or not I view my world as "half full" or "half empty". I think I portray a person who thinks life is half full, but in reality I think that I waver from that mentality.

This past weekend I was in my cousins wedding(which was a cup over floweth situation) and a person told me that I appeared to be filled up. When I heard that my first response was one of gratitude, the next response was of doubt. The doubt comes from some of the deepest parts of my heart, but I am thankful that the fullness that is my life shined through. When I think about my life, to be honest, I think that I am hugely blessed in most any situation. My family, friends and faith continue to show me that life is so intentional and full of wonder and so much more than I will ever know, but....moments of doubt steal some of the fullness. I wonder if despite the fact that I may or may not feel full, if God, my creator decides regardless of how I feel, that he will reveal Himself through the fullness of my life. Despite the disconnect, does God somehow know that we need Him to be bigger than us. When a person tells me that I am full, glowing, or any other word to describe an inner hapiness I am reminded that I am. So, I am thankful to the person who was able to see in me what I at times lack. I am also reminded that we are part of something so much bigger than I can wrap my head around and that roles that we play in each others lives are significant....even if it moments or a lifetime. So to those whom play role in my life daily...thank you, and those who play a role for a day...thank you. My journey as a young woman unfolds with simplicity and significance and my hope is that I can continue to journey with intention and grace.

As I look back what I wrote to correct any errors, I realize that this blog will have moments of extreme silliness and moments of truth and honesty...hope that doesn't bother you.

Thanks for reading,
Ashley

The Hills...reality or fake?

Good day friends,



I am fresh back a long weekend in the City of Angels. I went out to watch my younger brother graduate from Pepperdine University(woop, woop!) Anywho....moving on, Southern California is quite a place, I thought I would walk away unscathed but no such luck. The graduation itself was pleasant at a glance but beneath the layers make up, arrongance and money there about as many versions of Lauren Conrad and Spencer Pratts as there are versions of cells phones. Don't take this wrong way, I was super duper excited to see my brother graduate from an amazing school, but I was blown away with how much fakeness prevaded that field. I wish I could say that I was beyond all the hoopla, but even a grounded indivdual as myself got caught up in the reality that is SoCal. Most moments I would say that kind of life is shallow and imperfect, but then there are those moments when I get caught and wish that my life could be like that. Those moments are mostly reserved for when I think material and worldly things are going to complete me. I know of only a few things that have brought me true happiness and to be honest none of those moments inlcuded anything material.

And since it as taken so long for me to post this I have completely forgotton my train of thought. As I look back it seems as though I was on a roll, I guess you can't stop the money train once you get it going.

Blog to you later....most likely when my life stops being a crazy train of schoolwork.

Ashley

Why are Aliens heads so big?...

Well Folks, the mystery has been soloved...aliens heads are bigger than ours because they have a condition called hydrocephalitis. If you are a little confused, well so was I. I was in my Anatomy and Physiology class and the conversation started to circle around the condition hydrocephalitis, which is water in the brain and causes the head to enlarge. Typical conversation till one of the other students legitimately asks "Is that why aliens heads are so big?". WHAT?(the first thought in my head) The professor casually replies that he has never encountered an alien...um, righty oh, no one else has either. I about peed my pants at the ridiculous thought. Suffice it to say that was the kick off to a busy but rad weekend.

I wish I could say that my weekend surrounded around me laying by the pool and catching some righteous rays, but I spent a significant amount of time at work. But I was able to make some time for socializing, spent time with friends and enjoyed the elements of an outside patio. Overall, a great weekend, but I am real tired tonight.

As much as I think that the "alien" comment was silly, I also think that there are many things that I say or believe that other would find very silly. Shoot, there are things that I say that I think are very silly...one example would be "Man, I wish I was a smoker so that I can go hit on that guy out there." Actual commentary from my weekend, can we all say ridiculous? Sooooo, I guess the lesson that I learned is, I can't really pass judgement on others, unless I am willing look at me.

Till next time bloggers,
Ashley

Patience is a virtue...

Sooooo, this is my first stab at a BLOG, OMG, I might not be the most savvy with for a while, but I am going to do my best.

The reason for it all...
I feel as though I have a lot to say and a lot to say it to, so to make it easier for me(I know, sounds selfish, but so true) I have created a blog. So I am here to get my blog on and I hope that it is inspirational, thought provoking, humorous, chance to connect, and informational.

Thanks for coming and reading, blog to you later.

Ashley