Over the past 6 months, however, I have developed a slight bitterness toward the wedding, not the people but wedding itself. It isn't the general splendor that I distaste or the cheap wine. It is the experience that isn't shared...shared with someone who loves. I wasn't quite sure about this feeling till a friend who is married asked me about it. I think I came up with some bullshit answer to deflect the question....but the truth is, I would love to be sitting next to my honey while vows are being read, tears shed, and slow dances to be danced. I don't say these things because I am a loner at weddings, I do quite well actually. I have been known to lead "Thriller", give a spectacular toast and generally be part of the life sustaining the party. So this ache doesn't come from being ignored, it comes from trusting that I am wonderful and waiting for someone to see that.Weddings seems to have the ability of getting at that particular ache of mine.
I will always and forever be that woman who loves a good wedding and I will rally through the sadness that it might bring out, but for now I am a lady in waiting. Waiting for my prince to come(I am in Hollywood now, so prince seemed appropriate), waiting for the next time I get to be with my friends at a wedding, waiting for the ache to be gone, waiting for my special slow dance.:)
Those of you who might read this and remember me at your wedding or are envisioning me at your future wedding, the only thing that I can share with you is that I loved it, I love you and I that I "ate, drank and was merry".
Patience is a virtue...I am finding myself to be quite virtuous.
AshleyPaige
