Memory Road...

This past Thanksgiving I had the most amazing opportunity to go to Phoenix to see some of my mothers friends, now, I call them my friends. The primary reason to head South was to celebrate the marriage of my mom's college friend Terry to the very tall and very great man John Segin. I tell you now that I am a sucker and if it wasn't for my mother's other friend Terry I would have lost it. It was a great moment to me, and here is why. This couple of Terry and John have been part of my life as long as I can remember and for 25 years they have been loving each other and the people in their lives well, so when they said "Let's get hitched", I said YAHOO! Not because it was about damn time but rather I love weddings, I love it when the man gets a little choked up because the woman in his life says YES. And though this wedding was a slight aberration from what I am used to (Bride wore jeans and groom wore a shirt with a picture of a tux...priceless) the moments that I love were there.....Two families celebrating life, tears, great conversation, good food and memories to last a life time.

The people that I got to spend approximately 24 hours of my life with represented my youth...I know this because multiple adults put their hand about waist high and followed by saying "I remember when you were this big". I even said that to someone...surreal moment for sure(I am not old enough to have known people when they were ankle biters, anyways). These are the people who saw me grow up and are surprised at how gorgeous I turned out(maybe they weren't surprised, but I loved the compliments nonetheless), they have memories that I am glad that they remember, and they represent a youth that I forgot that I loved. As I met them this past holiday, I embraced them as an adult and was delighted to have great conversations and share in sooooo much laughter. When Terry asked my brother and I to escort the rest of the lingerers back to hotel I knew that this is was one celebration that would go down in the books as one of my favorites.

Soooooo, to end this blog I give a shout out to my new friends THE SEGINS, THE JOHNSONS, THE WALLACES, THE CROWTHERS and THE MACEAUS...thanks for the memories...whose getting married next, please invite me...I'll bring the white wine.

With many thanks,

APKilla

The Time Has Come...

...For me to fill out all the big girl paperwork and applications and get myself a big girl job. WOOHOO! So Iam currently in the process of filling out my initial teacher license and an application for a teaching job simultaneously...cart before the horse, but I had to get it done sometime and this available job just thrust me into action. The last month I have been contemplating getting a second job or volunteering somewhere, primarily because I am bored but also because I need to be doing something with my degree. Much to my surprise I get a phone call from a friend whom I have not heard from in some time and she mentions that her Middle School needed a P.E./Health teacher asap. At first I was hesitant because I had made the decision to start looking for a teaching job in January, but then I got all kinds of excited and had to jump aboard the crazy train that is called "job search". On "job search" I am having to fill out all the paperwork that I have so beautifully avoided till this moment. I am happy to say that I stay up over half the night planning my interview answers and lesson plans and various other things that I could do with students(again cart before the horse, I have yet to turn in the application). So that was a sign to me that I am ready for this teacher thing to come to fruition. I am over my vacation and ready to drop some knowledge on those adolescent kiddos. Whether I get this job or another I am fully(well not fully, sans paperwork) ready to whip those kids and myself into Physical Education Monsters.
I am hoping that the timing is right and that this opportunity will actually slingshot me into a world that I am willing to offer my knowledge, expertise and skills(don't those all sound the same) to. With all of that said, I am still nervous about not being fully prepped on what to put in my paperwork or what to say in an interview. I trust my skills in conveying a passion and goals, but as far as the nitty gritty of what as school might be looking for I am unsure. I know that in my everyday practice of teaching I ALWAYS want to do what is best for my students, but I know that there is much more involved. So I will spend my thanksgiving weekend brushing up on some education jargon and topics and hope that I will at least get an interview to charm the pants off my future employers...Confidence...good, right? Arrogance...not good, I hope to strike the balance.

Suffice it say I am SUPER DUPER EXCITED, giddy up. All aboard the A-train, toot toot. Look out for me rolling in some awesome matching tracks suits with the slickest shoes and possibly rocking some obnoxious whistle....

School is in Session...
Miss Kelemen...or Miss K.

Guilty pleasures

I typically feel as though guilt is a feeling reserved for the Jewish, convicted convicts and assholes, but in the wake of my recent purchases I must admit that there are four things that I truly enjoy that also cause me to feel guilty.

3 D's and an E:

DONETTES

DORITOS

DIET COKE

ENRIQUE IGLESIAS

Yes, boys and girls, these are the four things in life that I would call a guilty pleasure. They make me so happy in the moment, but lasting guilt that I feel after partaking in their flavors makes me think that the hassle of hiding my love for them might not be worth it. If you are thinking that Enrique doesn't have a flavor, I beg you to listen to that man's songs and you will transported to the land and flavor of love and dance.

Every so often I get the urge to indulge myself, I will go and get whatever flavor Doritos strikes me as fabulous, a couple 20 ouncers of DC, and a pack of Donettes and get it done. Getting it done doesn't really require a time, shoot, I have been known to throw back as early as 9:30 in the a.m.. As for Enrique, he might be the most ridiculous latin man in the world, but when he sings Escape, Bailamos or Hero my body responds and I must sing, dance and worship with my hips. I am not proud of these unhealthy habits but I am thankful that, although the powder that encircles my lips may say otherwise, I am not addicted to crack cocaine.

I fear that these dips to the dark side my seal my fate.

MY FATE:

Dying alone while my radio player repeats HERO, with white powdered lips, orange finger tips and cans crushed beneath my ass. I might need an intervention.

I realize the issue could get out of control but I have things on lock down...spoken like a true addict.

But in all seriousness, I have a bag of Donnettes waiting for me when I get home...yes please. Don't worry folks....I haven't listened to Enrique in months, which reminds me...gotta run and let the rhythm grab control.

Peace, love and guilt...

APKilla

Something is the air....

I am feeling so fresh and clean(clean). Maybe it is the recent shower I just took, the crisp air outside or the stirring in my heart for something new....or maybe it is a combination of all those things wrapped up in a neat(but also sometimes messy) little package called life. So my last blog talked about this incident in which there was some major shifting in my life. Looking at me you might not notice this shift, but it is there. I had also mentioned that I had some things that were going well in life and I would be withholding some vital information if I didn't get to the point soon.

For the past month or so my younger brother I have been discussing our master plot to take over the world.

THE PLOT: '"Guide students toward adventure so that they may participate in a global community"

MEANING: Putting healthy adults in high school students lives so that they might impact them in a way that allows a student to see and access their potential.

TARGET: Students who are at risk of failing high school and not going to graduate in Denver Public Schools.

HOW: We are still figuring out this piece but a part of it looks like taking these at risk students on trip abroad, so that they might get a greater picture of the world that they can impact.

WHEN: NOW...meaning we are talking with our friends and family to get connected to the right people to get this off the ground.

WHY: Because there is need that isn't being met and we feel it is our responsibility to help shape our future world.

We are calling this organization Freemind Adventures. We believe that we all play a role in our world and we make choices everyday that shape that world, to not step into the adventure that the world has to offer and offer what you have to the world would be tragic.

I am excited to start something that I feel is important and relevant. My hope is that I will not grow weary or that in weariness I can persevere. In the meantime I am going to pursue my calling as a teacher and pursue Freemind Adventures on the side. This is nerve-wracking but all important things in life call us to some sort of discomfort.

So, Giddy Up!!!

APKilla

Where do I start...

Life has been a bit of a whirlwind the past few weeks, I have been encouraged by many to keep this blog real....so its gonna get real, real quick....giddy up. We are going to start with the things that aren't so great and then move to the things that are real great. Sooo, about three weekends ago I was up in Fort Collins hanging with all the people in the world that mean the most to me, plus some repeat offenders in my life. T'was a night filled with laughter, margaritas, blessings and a little bit of a need that I know not how to fill. As Saturday night winded down and we tucked ourselves into the beds of others(for me I slept in my friend Kahle's bed....no scandal that night), Kahle told me that we were going to Church in the morning. My first reaction(all in my head of course) was quite juvenile, "Really, do I have to go?", then I simply slid into apathy towards my fate. Sunday morning rolls around and I don't even shower, I put on my legging with a t-shirt and my bright yellow CSU hoodie and I desperately hope that Kahle let me out of Church based purely on my ridiculous appearance...no such luck, damn. We rolled into Church and I could feel the tension building in me, not the bad tension, but rather the tension that feels like there is something good to experience but you, yourself, won't let it happen. I spent the majority of the service telling myself that I was not going to go up the alter for the "alter call", I was going to just stick to my pew and experience God the way I had been for the last three years...by myself. The service went as it should have with singing, collecting of tithes(which I put $5 of my drinking money in the pot...ironic, maybe a little) and then the message. All went smoothly according to my critical eye, and then popped up an older gentleman to do the alter call, FYI, I hate alter calls...they have tremendous impact but they rub me the wrong way. Anywho, as this man was speaking he said a few things that aren't typical of the alter call...."disappointment" and "death of hope"......Wait one second old man, just one damn minute. These words not only pierced my heart they ripped it right open and the well of tears behind those words began to fall. So what did I do...welp, I went to the alter and knelt down, duh....if ya didn't see that one coming you must not be reading between the lines. For those of you who know me well and those of you who are getting to know me....tears are few and far between, so this show of vulnerability scared the shit out of me. But, the big BUT, it felt so good to cry, about everything and nothing all at the same time. The whole time I was up there, I was freaked out but mostly broken. The only prayer that I had was, "Let them know I need them"...meaning my people. I need my friends and family to know that I need them in the most important ways, especially when I can't say that I need them.

Afterwards, there were more tears shared between me and my besties, and then that gentleman came over to me and asked if we could chat. And in my mind I had few choice words to say to him...like how dare you say things that cause me to take off the armor that I have perfected and get real in front of God and the rest of the world. But I politely listened to him and he had the gall to give me homework...homeboy, I am done with school, but I did it and I am thankful for the words that I have read(Isaiah 62:6-12).

In retrospect this is actually part of the great stuff happening, it just doesn't feel good to messing around with all these emotions and thoughts. I am sitting here writing and editing what I have just written and the battle in me is whether or not I should publish this particular post. The side of me that only wants to be seen as having it together says "oh hell no, don't do it, you might offend people and loose friends" and then there is the side that says "what the hell, what do you have to loose?" Right now I feel like "what the hell", so forgive me for getting all JesusFreak on ya, but this is me in all my weakness and glory.

Looking back at the length of this blog I have decided that I will leave this story alone and include the other good, bad and ugly for my next blog.

Thanks for reading(when you read this it really makes me feel special), so thanks again.

Yikes...you know it all:)

APKilla

p.s. YIKESSSS!!!!!!