Thursday, November 11, 2010

Guilty pleasures

I typically feel as though guilt is a feeling reserved for the Jewish, convicted convicts and assholes, but in the wake of my recent purchases I must admit that there are four things that I truly enjoy that also cause me to feel guilty.

3 D's and an E:
DONETTES
DORITOS
DIET COKE
ENRIQUE IGLESIAS

Yes, boys and girls, these are the four things in life that I would call a guilty pleasure. They make me so happy in the moment, but lasting guilt that I feel after partaking in their flavors makes me think that the hassle of hiding my love for them might not be worth it. If you are thinking that Enrique doesn't have a flavor, I beg you to listen to that man's songs and you will transported to the land and flavor of love and dance.

Every so often I get the urge to indulge myself, I will go and get whatever flavor Doritos strikes me as fabulous, a couple 20 ouncers of DC, and a pack of Donettes and get it done. Getting it done doesn't really require a time, shoot, I have been known to throw back as early as 9:30 in the a.m.. As for Enrique, he might be the most ridiculous latin man in the world, but when he sings Escape, Bailamos or Hero my body responds and I must sing, dance and worship with my hips. I am not proud of these unhealthy habits but I am thankful that, although the powder that encircles my lips may say otherwise, I am not addicted to crack cocaine.

I fear that these dips to the dark side my seal my fate.

MY FATE:
Dying alone while my radio player repeats HERO, with white powdered lips, orange finger tips and cans crushed beneath my ass. I might need an intervention.

I realize the issue could get out of control but I have things on lock down...spoken like a true addict.

But in all seriousness, I have a bag of Donnettes waiting for me when I get home...yes please. Don't worry folks....I haven't listened to Enrique in months, which reminds me...gotta run and let the rhythm grab control.

Peace, love and guilt...
APKilla

4 comments:

Kim said...

You are hilarious. Let's hang out soon! I never pass up a donut.

J. Lo said...

I am DYING laughing right now. Get it girl!

Caleb and Amy said...

No words. I have...no words.

Loyder said...

baaahahahaha.

i love your fate. call me if you need someone to dance with...you know these hips don't lie!!!